Mike's Homepage

Hi welcome to my homepage.  You're either here because u wanna know more about me, u just surfed in, u were recommended here by another person, or you are one of my people [the goats and erasers will rise above them and rule the world]. Oh I bet you were looking for PICTURES huh?  Put ur mouse over that a couple more times, then it'll work, really it will.  WELL TOO FREAKIN BAD!  I DON'T HAVE ANY PIX! Keep reading please... I might tell you how to get my pix and large amounts of money. OOOOoooOOO money... doesn't that sound good?  Well keep reading then. Since this my, Mike's, homepage then I should probably tell you a lil something about me huh?  That WOULD be the right thing to do right?  Ok well then I'll do it.  I'm an aspiring naked free style bungee jumping champion.  Ya, I know what ur thinking.  You're thinking "wow mike, how do I become a naked free style bungee jumping champion too?"  Well lemme tell you.  Practice.  You don't have a bungee cord?   That's ok tie rubber bands together and use them, it works just as good and then u have a tasty treat for when you're done.  Not the rubber bands ya wierdo. I've had a happy life really.  It started from the beginning when I was really tolerant of everybody and that got me in good with everybody.  Ya know, I just loved the world and everything in it.  UNTIL SHE PISSED ME OFF then I became resentful and just angry at everyone.  From the age of a few wee months on I've been pissed off and it seems like my middle finger hasn't gone down.

So what else about me?  Oh I like cows.  And I also like to play dress up.  On the picture on the left is when Mort, my prize bull with the diamond tipped horns decided to get playfull with me.  He's such a silly bull.  I tried playing leap frog with him as you can see.  I almost made it. AAAALLLMOOOOSSSTTT!!!  Maybe once the humungous, gaping wound heals I can try it again.  Oh my god the pain is soo incredible.  I wouldn't change anything though, believe it or not everything turned out for the best, with the meracle of science I have silly puddy inserts as replacements.  They don't just copy the comics anymore.  ok enuf with this, wanna c PICTURES of me?

I presently live in Maine, where the fun never.... STARTS! It seems like everything just stays still, especially cars on my street.  My town is actually a happenin place.  Ok I'm guessing u've never been to Maine so I'll tell you about my perception of it.  Maine has the excitement of a "special" tree slug and the origionality of wonder bread.  Packing your bags allready?  Well stop.  I try to find amusing things to do here and I've got one word for you, trichulene.  Don't know what trichulene is?  Good, the less u know the better... I've been doing it for years now and I'm down to 4 fingers, a sleepy eye, one really long patch of hair, and 50 teeth.  Just sit and picture that for a minute.

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